The Dream

For a long time I had this repeating dream- every night I could remember, for about 3 months straight. In it I was trying to escape being pulled down into this dark pit of what were seemingly zombies- they clearly had no interest in anything other than eating me, destroying me, torturing me... yea, it was pretty sick. But whenever I'd try to escape, and make some headway, something would pull me back down, whether it was feeling like there was one normal thing among them, and I wanted to save it, or feeling like I left something behind and I had to go get it, or feeling like I was stuck. It was a really long dream about being pulled down, and trying to remember how to lift myself back up. Everything in this picture is something I saw in my dream- the color scheme is a little brighter than in the actual dream, and even though the picture seems like it's warm, the actual space in my dream was extremely cold.
           Anyway- for the longest time (this was done in 2007, when I was having the actual dream) I had no idea what the dream was about, just that it made me feel like ass when I woke up and I really didn't like the idea of going back to sleep. Actually stayed awake a few nights in a row at a time, drawing this out, to see if that helped. Finally all these years later, it makes sense for me to call it "Me Saving Me".
         It's weird to notice attributes in other people that you either have and like, or have and dislike. But that's what ultimately I feel this time in my life was about- whatever was going on, and stressing me out to the point of having the same repeating crazy dream, finally stopped when I started doing something about my reality during my time awake.

I guess the point is, at some point- some thing's gotta give. All you have in this life, IS your life. Everything that comes along is simply your move.

I just don't like how I'm stuck in the perpetual middle, all naked and unsure... smh.

"Me Saving Me"  Mixed Media (marker, colored pencil, graphite) on Paper